Who am I?? To be honest I am not so sure anymore. I have been so wrapped up on how I should be as a wife, mom, business owner, that I forgot how to be me. Sad, huh?
Now before I go any further let me state for the record. I love being a mom, wife, business owner, and any other label I may be given. That is part of what makes me, well me, but there is still something missing. I am so worried about making sure money is right, kids have what they need, everything is paid on time, house is clean, and the list could go on. I forget to ask myself..."Hey Kelly what do you need?" "Everything Ok?" What would you like to do today?"
Not asking myself these questions has left me stressed, aggravated, and discouraged. At myself.
I am proud to be a wife, a mom, a partner! But I am also proud of myself when I write, craft, workout, dance. The only problem is until recently I have left all of those verbs out of my life. I also forgot about my faith.
Now I am not one to start a long preach to the choir, bible thumping, knock on your door, kinda person. But I have never even really thought about my faith until recently. A relationship with God was not something in my mind because I have questioned him a great deal for 20 years. (If you know me then you know why). I have actually thought that maybe I might even begin to read the bible. Might step in a church or into the pole barn of one of our many cowboy churches. But I will leave all of this to another blog. All I wanted to state here was that this is a part of my life this coming year I want to explore more.
Ok now back to the other stuff. I am ready to be ME again and on my terms. I now see that for 1 I have to love me more than my husband and kids ever could and now I do. I can not let other people get me down. We have worked hard for what we have and I will pat myself on the back for doing so and if others do not like it then that is on them.
My goals for this coming year are simple. This blog will be to express my writing. It will no longer just be about weight loss although you will see a great deal of it too. I loved when I wrote about what ever I wanted to. I am a good writer and I LOVE to do it. Ever since 6th grade when my English teacher Mrs. Armbrister saw something in me that I had only begun to see.
I am starting my own little crafting business. Nothing to over the top. I have found that crafting helps all of the migraines that I have. It is a great stress reducer and just plain out makes me happy!
I must get healthy! Being this big just plain out sucks! I want to be the fun mom for Cole that I was to Kota and Dustin when they were that young. I want to have more fun with all 3 of my kids but I just don't have that energy. I also want to get us all healthy because I was to live a long life with John straight though our rocking chair years. And let's face it I always wanted to be the hot mom ha ha ha!
I am truly a blessed woman with a loving family and awesome life. But I do not feel that I am giving my family or myself 100% of me and it just isn't right. So now in 2 more days I am going to have an awesome family vacation and once I am back it is game on! We will have another great business year and even expanding our business (yup that is another blog)! I will still be taking care of everyone but I will no longer leave myself out. I WILL FIT IN!
See You Next Year!
Kelly
xoxoxo
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