Where Do I Fit In?...

So here we are again. In just a little over a week I will embark on capturing the new me...again. But, before I do, I have to start the new year with a new attitude. No there are no resolutions because they are always broken. But there is a new sense of understand of myself and where I belong. So here is a little insight of what I have learned this year to finally figure out where I fit in...

Who am I?? To be honest I am not so sure anymore. I have been so wrapped up on how I should be as a wife, mom, business owner, that I forgot how to be me. Sad, huh?

Now before I go any further let me state for the record. I love being a mom, wife, business owner, and any other label I may be given. That is part of what makes me, well me, but there is still something missing. I am so worried about making sure money is right, kids have what they need, everything is paid on time, house is clean, and the list could go on. I forget to ask myself..."Hey Kelly what do you need?" "Everything Ok?" What would you like to do today?"

Not asking myself these questions has left me stressed, aggravated, and discouraged. At myself.

I am proud to be a wife, a mom, a partner! But I am also proud of myself when I write, craft, workout, dance. The only problem is until recently I have left all of those verbs out of my life. I also forgot about my faith.

Now I am not one to start a long preach to the choir, bible thumping, knock on your door, kinda person. But I have never even really thought about my faith until recently. A relationship with God was not something in my mind because I have questioned him a great deal for 20 years. (If you know me then you know why).  I have actually thought that maybe I might even begin to read the bible. Might step in a church or into the pole barn of one of our many cowboy churches. But I will leave all of this to another blog. All I wanted to state here was that this is a part of my life this coming year I want to explore more.

Ok now back to the other stuff. I am ready to be ME again and on my terms. I now see that for 1 I have to love me more than my husband and kids ever could and now I do. I can not let other people get me down. We have worked hard for what we have and I will pat myself on the back for doing so and if others do not like it then that is on them.

My goals for this coming year are simple. This blog will be to express my writing. It will no longer just be about weight loss although you will see a great deal of it too. I loved when I wrote about what ever I wanted to. I am a good writer and I LOVE to do it. Ever since 6th grade when my English teacher Mrs. Armbrister saw something in me that I had only begun to see.

I am starting my own little crafting business. Nothing to over the top. I have found that crafting helps all of the migraines that I have. It is a great stress reducer and just plain out makes me happy!

I must get healthy! Being this big just plain out sucks! I want to be the fun mom for Cole that I was to Kota and Dustin when they were that young. I want to have more fun with all 3 of my kids but I just don't have that energy. I also want to get us all healthy because I was to live a long life with John straight though our rocking chair years. And let's face it I always wanted to be the hot mom ha ha ha!

I am truly a blessed woman with a loving family and awesome life. But I do not feel that I am giving my family or myself 100% of me and it just isn't right. So now in 2 more days I am going to have an awesome family vacation and once I am back it is game on! We will have another great business year and even expanding our business (yup that is another blog)! I will still be taking care of everyone but I will no longer leave myself out. I WILL FIT IN!

See You Next Year!
Kelly
xoxoxo

My Best Day Ever!!!

Hey Chics!

So this is going to be pretty short and sweet. Here it is almost midnight and I just finished working out and now I am blogging. I am starting to get on the schedule that fits me so much better. I have tried to fight it by working out early and waking up early but I have come to terms with the fact that I am a night owl! I am still wide awake and after this I am going to clean my house before I take a shower and call it a night. Now if only Cole was more on this schedule lol.

Well my question for you today is...What was your best day ever and why was it so great??? Here is mine...

This past year we took the family up to Tennessee to see the snow and relax. This was also going to be Cole's first time seeing snow. I can still remember the ride up for almost 8 hours we all got to keep hearing Cole say, "I want to see the snow!"

My best day was the first day that we got there. We got to the welcome center to Seiverville and there was the snow! We got out and a snow ball fight started immediately. Cole was eating snow, don't worry we had the whole "yellow snow" talk. They even got grandpa in on the fun.

After that we were off to the cabin. There we built Cole's first snowman, had a couple more snowball fights, and laughed and had fun. All of us! 

Now the kicker to all of this was once we got to the cabin there was no power! I huge storm had come the day before and left many places still without power and ofcourse one of those cabins was ours. And did this girl have vacation insurance? Of course...not! Do I purchase it every time now? You betcha!

They would be able to get us in another cabin the next day so we roughed it. And the next day we laughed about it. Really we still laugh about it and every time we go to the mountains now it is a joke.

Why was it the best day ever???

It was one of the few times we felt like a family. It has been a lot harder blending this family than I thought it would be. So this was a day when we all laughed together, played together, and got along. So this is a day a mom like me will cherish always.

xoxoxo,
Kelly

Now normally there is a quote to follow but tonight I am going to post pics from that awesome vacation!

 

The FULL Transformation!

Hey Chics!

So I have begun to read a new book. Choose More, Lose More for Life by Chris Powell. You know the yummy trainer from Extreme Weight Loss. He is so yummy isn't he? Yup you so know he is. 

Anyway so I started reading his book yesterday and I am loving it. I am not flipping through in trying to find this big secret to lose this weight. I am going page by page and getting all the info I possibly can from this book. I have a friend who also is reading it and loves it and has been losing weight from the plan. I am not that far yet. 

The first part of this book is about the secrets to your transformation. The first one is to believe. The other part is to realize that there is a reason you are over weight. In this there are some questions you must answer and in the end  they are all positive questions.

I am not done answering these questions but they made me feel better just thinking about all these great things. Some of them are deeper than others. So I will share the first ones with you tonight. I have these written in my journal but I want to share with you and you could also do this too. 

7 Great Things That Happened to Me This Past Year...

1. Got Married
2. All the bills are paid and there is still money in the bank
3. Family vacations! Cole got to see snow for the first time!
4. When my husband (boyfriend at the time) finally proposed to me correctly (it was during our engagement pics lol)
5. Trying direct sales and stepping out of my comfort zone.
6. Finally Finding a workout I love!
7. Signing up for my 1st 5k!

3 Peoples Lives I Have Made Better...

1. My Husband
2. My kids
3. My dad

3 People Who Have Made My Life Better

1. My Husband
2. My Kids
3. My Best Friend Melissa

So there are the first three. You will see a new one every day until I am done. The rest of my answers could be their own blog. So grab a journal and come along on this journey! Grab the book too!

With this week I am back of the exercise train still doing my Focus T-25! My goals for this week are to get all my water in and no fried food. The fried food thing terrifies me since I will be in Orlando tomorrow! 

Have a Great Night!

Kelly

 

Walking Through the Fog!

Hey Chics!

Did you think I was gone again? Nope. I have been just trying to figure out a lot maybe too much at once. Who knows. Oh yea I do. Probably thinking of way too much at once. I have enough in my head for about 5 blogs so this should be a good week of back to back blogs. For now I will just rant about how I have been feeling and a little into why. So I will give you a minute to get comfy and then I will get to it...

Okay! So I was out of it for 2-3 weeks. It sucked! And honestly it sucked me dry. I was ready to go again and guess what...all the drive and passion was gone. To be honest just didn't care. Why didn't I care? Dang if I know I just didn't. I even asked on the group page I am on what could I do to get motivated and nothing still clicked.

I truly I feel like I am in a fog right now. I am trying to figure out so much right now. How to get this weight off is of course the first thing. What sucks is there is no support here. I love my husband and my kids but what I am doing is not for them and I get that. And yes I know it is up to me to change my life but it just sucks that I feel so alone doing it.

There are no close friends. Do I have friends? Sort of. Anyone who I know I could call at anytime. Nope. It just doesn't work that way. My biggest supporter is my 2 year old. He is the one every morning ready to get up and exercise!

Like I said I just feel lost in a fog. Sorry if this blog is so choppy. Might not even make sense. For me though this is just my thought process sometimes...

So now I get on to my "job." I am in direct sales. I sell pretty lockets. Do I like the company. Sure do. An I going to stay with it? Probably not. I have no time. We have our main business and then I am a mom. I started doing this on the side as a hobby so I could  have a break, get out of the house, etc. Nope! What the hell was I thinking! Once again I will put this on the back burner. Maybe once Cole is in school I will do something else.

Wow this isn't a blog. This is a vent! This is not a pitty fest. Just a vent fest! I know what I want to do. I want to get this weight off and prove everyone wrong. I want to be healthy and I want to help people. Right now I help people with my locket business. I make 1 locket a month for someone who could use a pick me up. I have given 4 away so far. 2 to cancer patients and 2 to ladies who had angel babies. I love doing it. Believe me this direct sales business is not a money maker for me and I am fine with that. It is just nice to see someone smile.

I get it. This blog makes no sense. Are you in as much of a fug as I am in now?
I think it would be better if I just let it go and get some sleep! :)

xoxoxo,
Kelly

What to do...What to do???

Hey Everyone!

Did you think that I quit again??? Well you wouldn't be right, but then again you wouldn't be wrong either. Almost 2 weeks ago I ended up with a double ear infection and on meds. Well I thought I was only on them for 1 week and so I was taking the week off and then I found out I was on them for 2 weeks. Ok no biggie I will still just take the week off. Well then for being on one of the pills for a week I started to have a reaction and BAM out for another. So back to it on Monday and I am personally just starting back over.

Why wouldn't I just go on to week 3??? To be perfectly honest. I have done nothing for 2 weeks so I am sure I have gained. They normally say it takes 30+ days to get into a routine. Well with only being 2 weeks in forget about it. I ate crap. We ate out almost the whole week because I was in so much pain. So I am not going to cheat myself out of the process and I am going to start from the beginning again. Sometimes you need to take a few steps back to be successful and I am willing to do that and not give up on myself this time. I have a whole closet full of clothes just wanting me to wear them this fall!

Lately I find myself in a funk. In a way I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Only problem is I am almost 33, I need to figure it out. I started doing direct sales and I love the company and what it stands for. I also do not do it for the money I gift at least 1 locket a month to someone who needs a smile. I have given to 2 children with cancer, 2 ladies who have had angel babies, and a few more people. I LOVE doing this but it does take money and I use the money from my sales but my parties are few and far between and lately I have only been selling 1 locket a party. Then it comes out of my pocket. I am not complaining about that either, as long as I have the means I will continue to do this. If there is one thing I know it is I just want to help people.

When I hear things like I am an inspiration when it comes to these blogs or taking on the bulged it make me feel good. Knowing that I have had other people in different companies thinking about giving back to people in their own way I am so happy. But there is still just something missing. Like there is this puzzle piece I am looking for and I don't know where else to look.

Everyone is put on this earth for a reason. What is mine? What is my life course?? To be confused? lol I search for guidance but nothing!

Well I wanted to write more but my father had me looking up flights so it is time to go to bed.

xoxoxo,
Kelly

Day 17...I Am No Wrapper!

Hey everyone!

I am sorry I have not been on here and I have blog after blog going through my head. This week you will see me more. I am sick with a double ear infection and so I am not working out this week. I am almost in bed all the time so I have plenty of time to blog. My eating hasn't been the best these 2 days but tomorrow I am going back to eating healthy. Just because I do not feel good doesn't mean I can't eat right. So on to my blog...

So have you heard of the It Works wraps?? Well most of you know I have and that I love them. I really do and I am a loyal customer. They are great for toning up and getting you in that dress really quickly.

Now I am on week 3 of this challenge and I have wanted to blog about this since week 1 anyway, had 2 boxes of wraps sitting in my bathroom. My husband asked if I was going to use them? I had to think about it. And I came to the conclusion that would be cheating! I am sitting here daily on Facebook talking about our accomplishments. Then on "STATurday" we says what we lost. It would never be fair for me to say hey I lost 3 inches and to me I didn't lose it. The wrap took it away from me. So for the record I have NOT used a wrap since starting the challenge group and I have sold them all!

We all get caught up in all these fads and pills. What is the point? They don't give you long term results. You talk about being healthy is too expensive. Well why don't you add up the money you have spent on all those "fads" and see how much you would have saved if you just did 2 simple things eat right and get moving! I am just as guilty! I have tried the pills, the shakes, the equipment etc.

Will I use the wraps again? Let's see what happens on week 11. Yea I know it is 10 weeks but I have to sit this week out. I never listed to my body but this time I am and I will be ready to go on Monday even stronger!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

 

Day 8...Dear Families...

Hey  Chics...

I  have had one hell of a day. My body didn't want to exercise but I powered through it and I thought that would be the basis of my blog tonight but after what transpired around dinner time I found a whole new reason to blog tonight...

Dear Families,

We know you love us and we love you too but some things need to be addressed...

We are here taking a stand on our health and weight issue and we need a support group. This is not something that is a fad this is a new way of living. At times it will be smooth sailing and then there will be times that we can be a pain in the ass but this is a process that we need to take.

This is an addiction for some of us. This is one of the worst addictions to have. A smoker or a drug addict can quit their addiction and survive without it. As a food addict you can't quit eating. You can not survive if you don't eat. But you also can't survive if you eat a bunch of crap either! So think of how we feel when you are eating a huge cheeseburger and large fry and sweet tea in front of us, something that we love to eat and then we have to find something healthy.

Yea, Yea, we know, we know, just because we choose to eat better doesn't mean you have to. And you are right you don't. But you also don't need to eat it right in front of us either. Will there be time we would love to sit down and go out to eat? Of course, but not as habit, as a special occasion. Oh and when we lose 10 lbs that is not the "special occasion," we are talking about!

We would love for you to also take on this healthy living because we would love for you to be healthier with us. One of the reasons we want to get healthy is so that we can be around for our families weather it is a spouse, kids, family, or friends. We want more time with you!

So there it is, we love you and we know you love us but from now on we will not love each other with food. Let's take in to account each other and learn from the mistakes we make and grow in this journey together.

Love Always,
The Chunky Chics who are Turning Into Healthy Hotties!

That is all I am doing for tonight. I feel so much better!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

Day 7: This is Reality...Not a TV Show

Hey Chics!

So this weekend went fair. I fell off of the wagon a couple of times but I am learning and I am still going. There is no stop in this girl this time. If my schedule gets messed up oh well I keep on trucking. I am not giving up and neither should you. No matter what that scale says...and that is what brings me to tonight's topic that is on my mind...

I see posts in general from people who have lost a pound in a week and then beat themselves up! Why? You work hard, flawless or not you put in the effort and if the scale goes down then celebrate! If it doesn't measure! If you lost 1/2 an inch...CELEBRATE! No results but boy my pants seems to be looser...CELEBRATE! Why do we put ourselves down so quickly!

This is NOT The Biggest Loser, Extreme Weight Loss, I Use to be Fat, etc. This is REAL LIFE! You have a HUGE prize waiting on the other end for you, your health. Those people you see on TV are they uplifting and inspirational? Of course! I love those shows and I use to watch them with a big bag of chips and a coke and sit there and cry. Now I watch them and know hey I can do this. But there is a hug difference. While they are on those shows that is their job. You see an hour and they lose 10 lbs! You don't see the other 8 hours a day they are in the gym non stop, the shin splints, the aching bodies, and you do see some of the injuries and to be honest I wouldn't want to do that.

Be happy with the time you are able to get up and moving. I do it 25 mins a day. I am proud of that because before I was doing this I was doing 0 mins a day. It is the small victories that turn into big ones. Cherish them all. Reward yourself...just not with food :)! I know at the end of my 10 week challenge I am getting myself a makeover so that I can show off what I have done. This girl is even gonna get a spay tan for her after picture!

So the moral of my rambling is...this is your journey, in real life. You are doing great and we all have good and bad days but in the end you will succeed!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

Day 5! STATurday!

Hey Chics!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend! I know I am. And no you did not miss a post. I noticed that right now if there is not much to say then I am not going to bore you with every little detail of my life. And yes I know I am posting on a Saturday and it is because Cole is at Grandma's so I have some piece and quiet. But it is also because in the challenge group I am in today is the day when we take our weekly stats and I also now have my before pics. But before we get into all that good stuff...

I can see a change in my body and my eating habits. No I was no where close to being a saint this week with my eating I fell of the wagon I would say 3 times. Last night was a date night so the hubby and I went to MoJo's in Ocala. I had some wings, fries, and chips and salsa. Oh and you know me a sweet tea. I thought that if I only had a little of each I would be fine. That way I had a little cheat day but didn't over do it like I did in the past. WRONG!!! At 5 am I was up and my stomach my cussing at me! By 7 am I was getting sick. Was it worth it? Oh Hell No!!! My body is not showing me the way. It knows what it wants and a bunch of fried stuff is not it. So next time I am getting the salad they looked so good! And for my "splurge" I will do a 1/2 and 1/2 tea :)

Now on to my Stats! First I am going to post my before pics. Now I have done this on here before and I can tell you these are way bigger. You get married and then you get comfy. I don't want to be comfy, comfy is boring! The reason I post these pics is because I don't care. It is my body and I made it this way. The only difference between this and seeing me fully dressed is the lack of a t-shirt. This is my reality and although it is changing you have to own it because "you can not change what you don't acknowledge," (thank you Dr. Phil for that one).

My beginning STATS:                                                                           1st Week Stats:
Weight: 205 lbs                                                                                     Weight: 201.5lbs (-3.5lbs)
Chest: 43in                                                                                             Chest: 42in (-1in)
Waist: 41in                                                                                             Waist: 41 in (0)
Arms: 13in ea.                                                                                        Arms: 12in (1in. ea)
Thighs: 26in ea                                                                                       Thighs: 26in ea (0)

So with in 5 days I have lost 3.5 lbs and a total of 3 inches! I will take that!
I hope everyone is having a great weekend! See you next week!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

Day 3... PLEASE REWIND!

Hey everyone!

Ok change of plans, instead of posting at night I will be doing it the next morning for the most part. I have been getting up earlier so my body is ready to go to bed earlier and I fall asleep with my 2 year old lol.

So now on to business. It was a terrible day! A day where I would say, "screw it I am going to go get something to eat." But did I? Nope! I stayed strong and kept pushing on. By the end of the day nothing in the house was accomplished and I was told I have to have a new transmission put in my car. But I wanted to get most of the negative out of the way and move on to the positives!

Another early morning and I was up to exercise. It was a total body circuit that truly did kit my total body's butt! I loved it though. Although because I am still doing some of the exercises modified and did not know I was going to need a mat and when I tried to do some modified planks my knees were screaming so in my normal form I quit until the next exercise. Then it started going off in my head I can not put that I "Nailed It" on my calender and I would have to put 'I Barely Made It!" Did I really want to check that box when I know I could do it? Hell no! I finished the rest of the routine and jumped up before the cool down, grabbed my mat, and went back to the planks and finished the whole workout. I have never been more proud of myself. The old me would have just said I will do it 100% next time and shrug it off. This time I felt guilt if I did.

(I am still searching for my memory card and there will be a before pic and my measurements before Monday!)

After that was breakfast. More Shakeology with some mixed fruit! Yummo! This is what I will always have for breakfast for the next 10 weeks. I have never been a breakfast person and I am normally trying to fit so much in in the morning it works perfect for me!

During my time out we ended up at the dreaded convenience store! I forgot my snack and everyone wanted a drink. I am happy to say I was able to get some water and a banana! What I am not happy to report is I had to open a bag of Cheeto's that smelled oh so good but I did not touch them!!!

Clean eating dinner was turkey roast, zucchini, and carrots. I will admit I had 2 bites of noodles which I do not regret cause this girl needed a carb to wake her butt up lol.

Then all of a sudden my family decided there is nothing good to snack on. No I did not sat good for you, there is plenty of good for you stuff to snack on but not in this family. So they came home with 2 ice creams one of them being birthday cake my fav!, some chocolate, and a bag of chips! And then I proceeded to make the bowls of ice cream! Are you kidding me!? Thanks for the support guys! But I made the choice that  for me it wasn't worth it. I am working way to hard! I mean come on this is Wednesday and I haven't had to say I will start over on Monday!

For anyone losing weight I have learned you take it day by day.. Get in a routine and stick to it! I am not a morning person (just ask my husband). But, if that is what I have to go to get the job done then that is what has to be done. I guess the question you have to ask yourself is how bad to you want it? For me this is my moment to become who I have always wanted to be. And in 10 weeks I will make some decisions on what will be next in my journey!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

Day 2...I Only Have how Many Hours in a Day???

Hey everyone!!!!

Oh where do I begin? Oh yea, at the beginning. Today was just one of those days that didn't let me stop until I went to bed!

I got up early once again and I so hope that it gets easier. I told the hubby to have me up at 6:30 and I finally rolled out of bed at 7 but I got up and today's exercise was Speed 1.0 and I love it! I for the most part am having to do the modified version but that is ok because I am doing the whole workout with out stopping. It is so nice to not feel so defeated like I have with so many other exercise programs. It is also nice to see all the people on the video sweating as much as I do lol.

After that I had another Shakeology shake this time I added frozen pineapples, mangos, and strawberries. Why do I use frozen instead of fresh? I hate putting ice in my smoothies! I hate crunching on it when I am trying to drink it! With frozen fruit you do not need to add ice and it makes it into more of a smoothie. This is normally my fruit for the day because you do have to still watch the fruit intake because it has the natural sugars in it.

For lunch we went out to eat! Scary I know! Who wants to try and make good choices when you are going out? You're first choice should be a place where you know you can order healthy. Where did we go? Sweet Tomato! And even there you have to watch what you put on your plate. I just took a plate a loaded it with romane lettuce and veggies, then I went and had a bowl of soup with NO crackers!!! And finally my little splurge was a mini blueberry muffin.

Then I had to come home and it seemed like I went from a calm day to the hurricane of all days. Cleaning, working on my Origami Owl business, working on our home business, and then the cravings hit and I because Pissy Kelly!

When I work and get stressed I eat! That is just what I do and I know many people that do. I did not give in though. Normally I would in the past to just calm myself down so everyone else would not have to deal with it. Not this time. I told ya before this was my time so if Pissy Kelly was coming out everyone was just going to have to understand and deal with it and they did and I love them for that. I got through it but I am sure Pissy Kelly will be back many, many more times. Let's face it this was only day 2 and I know she is stubborn and will show her unwanted self once again but I will push her right back down. It is nice to know I am so much stronger than I thought I was.

And finally for dinner I made stuffed peppers and they were so yummy! You can find the recipe at http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/ 

Have a great day!
xoxoxo,
Kelly

Day 1...1 Step Foward, Half a Step Back!

Hey Everyone!!!

Today was the day and boy was it a day! I had everything going so well! I had a no fail plan! (You can hear me laughing about that last statement I bet!) Everything was going to go right on track and have a perfect day! And then...reality set in...and my day began...

I started out the day a little later than I wanted to but I was up took my before pics a long with all my measurements and weight...

I will post my pics and measurements tomorrow because I have no clue what folder I put the pics in lol! Do you see that ugly number! I am only 5ft! That is a lot of weight people! Too much weight! What have I done to myself? Yea, like I don't know.

Then it was off to get my workout clothes on and try out the new workout I am embarking on for the next 10 weeks. It was cardio for 25 minutes. Now this isn't Sweating to the Olides cardio, this is FOCUS on the goal or fall on your face out of exhaustion kinda cardio! I am happy to say though I did the whole 25 mins and even kept up with the big dawgs for a couple of moves and then had to hold back on others.

 Even my 2 year old tried to get in on the action. He did some marching and some stretching. Then he told me we were sweaty and needed to take a shower.  After the showers I had my Orange Dream Shake and for his breakfast he traded out his Fruit Loops for some Sesame Street Big Bird Cereal (only 1 gram of sugar!)! He says he is gonna get healthy with be.

Then it was off to work with the hubby and we were all over the place. Normally we would stop at some fast food place and eat more calories than we should have in a week but instead we brought lunch! I made us salads and in true Kelly form it would be boring to put a salad in a bowl...

Finally we get home and this is when all the craziness happens! My plan for the night was stuffed peppers. As I was making them our neighbor came over to tell us our horse had taken off the bandage over his eye. Oh yea like you know what happened to our horse Buster...about a week ago Buster went in to have cancer removed from his eye lid and it had spread and he lost his eye as well :( So my husband wasn't home so I had to run to Tractor Supply and get what he needed. I then looked at the clock and saw that we would not be eating till after 10, so drive thru here we come. It sucks to know that after such a great day I had that 1 set back...

But it will not stop me! I learned from my mistake. I need to plan a little better. Tomorrow is no excuses because I made dinner already lol.

Ok that is all I have for today plus it is bed time and I plan on getting up on time tomorrow!!!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

My FINAL Stand!

So here we go!...AGAIN! But this is the LAST time! Tomorrow will be the LAST time I start with the beginning weight and measurements you have seen so many times. This will be the first time that 10 weeks from now I will have made a positive change in my life!

I am going to be part of this awesome challenge group that will be doing the Focus T25 program from Beachbody. http://www.teambeachbody.com/workout-routines/focus-T25 Check it out!

For food I am going to be changing my eating habits drastically and I will be practicing clean eating. I get most everything from  http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/ Check this page out for everything from finding out just what clean eating is as well as recipes and so much more!

To follow me you can check me out on Pinterest http://pinterest.com/kellykells/boards/ as well as on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bye-Bye-Chunky-Chic/137237093057062?ref=hl*

* Please note: When it comes to my Facebook page it is a womans page. If men come over to get on the fitness bandwagon that is fine but any rude comments by ANYONE and they will be removed. What is posted by anyone takes courage and I will not let that be taken away from them.

So that is about it! I am so ready for this!

Am I dreading anything? Oh heck ya! To make sure I do not fail with exercising which is what happens I am going to make sure I wake up around 6:30 in the morning! This is coming from someone who sleeps until between 8 and 9!

I can't wait to be back tomorrow and this is make or break. I can not fail anymore! It is not an option this time. Sure there will be good and bad times but this time I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

When the Truth Hurts...

What would you do if a Doctor looked you straight in your face and told you, "If you do not change your ways you will not see your son turn 8."? Even to go on saying that stress could break up your marriage, family, and that in the long run you were not only killing your self but also your kids from teaching them YOUR bad habits. What would you do? 

Would you tell the doctor to mind his own damn business? Cry? Maybe say ok we will start "Monday!" (By the way saying you are going to start on Monday is nothing but an epic fail all in it self).

What did I do? Looked at my husband and said yup he is right and things need to change. We both agree that we need to be a family...let me rephrase that... a fun, loving, and respectful family. We need to not let our marriage run like our business. A marriage is not a business agreement and it was starting to feel that way. We get one weekend a month that we cherish and we need to worry more about the quality time we spend together more than the place where we spend it. If you see my posts on Facebook you know we are ALWAYS going SOMEWHERE! 

Then again we have to leave the nest to get time to ourselves. You see, my dad lives with us. As much as we love him we need a break from him as much as we do the kids and even hope that maybe one day (by the end of January) he will be back living on his own. By then Cole should be in his own bed and maybe have his room back! 

We also need time for ourselves! I miss getting my hair and nails done. I miss buying an outfit that makes me feel pretty. I am always in capris, a t-shirt, and flip flops. Not much sex appeal going on there! I know he misses shooting darts, messing with his bow, and just hanging out with guys that are older than 2 and 11 lol. 

Finally, and the most important thing is we need to get healthy. So what will be our approach you may ask? My response is Clean Eating! I have a good friend that has been doing this for quite some time now and I have been doing a little homework and even my husband likes the idea. Will we quit all the processed foods and fried foods cold turkey? If I told you yes it would be a damn lie. Can I say this is something we are going to slowly move into our daily living and make it our main dietary lifestyle? Yes. It will take time but I know we can do it.

Is this going to be tough? Of course it is! Not only do I have to reprogram 3 adults there are also 3 children that I have to also. Will I continue to make all of their fav things? Of course, but now I will do my homework to find out how to make it healthier. Sure it will taste a little different but our taste buds will adjust. Oh, I can see a lot of blogging in my future! lol

So the game plan is...

• Get the kids involved with helping around the house
• Get this house back to being a fun home and finally getting outside and making the yard the place to be so we can get everyone outside and moving
• Get Moving! I will be exercising!
• Taking on a healthy  eating lifestyle! (MOST IMPORTANT!)
• Becoming a better family...to each other and ourselves!

There is so much more to list but this is a great start. So come on this journey with me. From the eating, to family, to all of the projects we will be doing! I have said this so many times in my other posts but this is so different! I do not want to hurt my kids when this is something that can be changed and I want my husband and myself to see our kids, grand kids, and heck great grandkids, grow up!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

 

CLARITY!

I know that I am not doing this every night and to be honest I won't be. I will do it when the mood strikes which is normally at least once a week. I am personally ok with that now, because I have found clarity in all of this!

I have wanted to do this weight loss thing for a very long time but along the way I have wanted to help others. To show them that we are all human and will have our ups and downs but in the end we will prevail. Now I know I was going about it all wrong! I was so worried about being perfect which was the exact opposite of what I was trying to tell people. Hey I can give great advice but that doesn't mean I take it! Because of this I have been praying for some type of clarity of what I need to do to not only make myself healthy but to hopefully inspire someone that they can do it to.

I was trying every workout, supplements, etc. I thought that one of them would work and that would be what I would tell every one about and I would get skinny and it would happen! Then...nope! I would fail and then you would not hear from me until I was ready to try the next "thing" again. Well that is no more! 

I still want to help people but to do that I need to show them that I can help myself. So that is what I am doing. I am no longer doing a certain program. I am doing my own which is a little of every thing I have tried from different programs and liked. I am going to exercise every day now.

Another HUGE change I have decided on is when I exercise. I don't know why I had it in my mind that I had to wait till night time to exercise. I am not a morning person so I chopped it up to working out once everyone went to bed. Duh! I was tired too so I would either half ass it or not do it at all and well that wasn't going to get me anywhere so now I exercise during nap time before I do my normal work. I have to workout in our office and I normally don't like to workout in front of anyone. Why you may ask? Because when I was a kid and my mom did her Jane Fonda or was Sweating to the Oldies I would be laughing and cracking jokes the whole time! Sorry mom! So now I have to say screw it! Laugh if you want to and crack jokes because I am getting healthy for myself and my kids! 

So hear me now...I will be healthy, I will make healthy choices, I will take care of ME the way I see fit, and I will keep this clarity to be victorious in my journey!

 

Finding Myself Beautiful

So here I am. I needed a little break which stinks because right now I have 3 topics in my head and I will talk about 2 today. They are both from the devotionals I am reading and the first one I will start with is every dieters favorite lie they love to tell themselves. You know it! I shouldn't even have to post it but I will...

I'll start again on Monday!!!
Do you know how many Monday's I have devoted to starting my diet over? Ever Monday since I was 20! Considering I am now 32 they is a lot of Mondays and I am just getting bigger. I weighed myself today and I am 201 lbs! Even after reading this I still said to myself I will start on Monday! Really? I would kick myself in the butt if my legs weren't so short! Why have we programed ourselves this way? Why would we wait till Monday when everybody already dreads Monday? So here it is...I am starting TODAY! FRIDAY! 

I could never give up that!

I believe this one little shift in our thinking can make us feel empowered, instead of feeling denied. Rather than giving in to the foods we crave, we can have God’s self-control to make a completely different decision, such as a decision for health . . . a decision for renewed energy . . . a decision for confidence and peace. Most importantly, a decision that honors both our body and God!

What is that one thing you feel that you can not give up? I have always felt I can not give up potatoes and ketchup! I love them both! It could be worse. I never thought I could give up pasta but marry a man who doesn't eat pasta and that is not a problem at all! Now I have to look at the bigger picture. What is worth giving up all the bad crap? My kids. That wasn't hard to figure out. They are why I am here. I was put on this earth to be a mom and I am not about to take me away from them too early. 

I think that is one thing we all need to figure out. What is worth giving that "thing" up that has a hold on you. Is it family, a better relationship with God, YOU!  

 Ok I lied there is one more I want to touch on. The whole reason for the name of this entry...

Finding Myself Beautiful

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” I’ve found my beautiful. And I like my beautiful. I don’t have to hold my beautiful up to other people’s bodies with a critical eye of judgment. I pray that you see your beautiful today and enjoy the blessings of the body that God gave you.

I can not begin to explain how much this one spoke to me. I cried. From the outside you would think I am confident and love everything about myself. But behind closed doors I am a wreck when I wake up and know that I have to get dressed because everything in my closet reflects a healthier woman that I was a few years back. My tummy bulges over my jeans and my shirts ride up to show my stomach. Not a pretty site at all. 

I know the body I am in right now is just not me. For the time I am in it I have to adapt and I decided to do that today. I use to take pride in my appearance.  I was always put together and looked like a million bucks! Once I met my husband things changed. He is one of those guys who doesn't really care how he looks and how people see him. Sooner or later he slowly rubbed off on me. That is just not me.

I have felt lost for a little while now. I am just not "me." So today I got out the pair of jeans that fit, a shirt I finally got into, did my hair and makeup and went out. Even though it was just to my sons school it was so nice to feel like I looked good! Not just in some old tshirt to hide the roll that my pants were giving me. 

I love the body that I was blessed with. My boobs are pretty (even after 3 kids) and my booty is stellar! The belly is all I need to work on. It is a problem area and a HUGE health risk. 

So  here is to tomorrow (not Monday!) When I will find myself beautiful every day and will give up things that are not here to help me in my journey.

xoxoxo,

Kelly

 

 

Just A Little Frustrated!

Ok, here I go! Before I get on my "soap box" I want to say how very happy I am to have my hubby home! I was truly lost with out him and I am so glad that one quality I was given was being a strong woman. In my family I am the rock and although I had a "moment" a time or two I knew everything would be fine and now we have a new start and I can not wait to go shopping tomorrow to have a clean start on eating and I will begin to exercise and as soon as he is able he is ready for the gym. Today we are just enjoying the fact he is home. I am blogging because he is napping. 

Also, I have not talked about any devotionals because there are none on the weekend but they will be back tomorrow!

Ok, now on to my 2 frustrations that I am having right now...

First...This past week as been a blur. I am so thankful for the prayers and for my mom helping me with watching Cole so the patients in the hospital didn't lose their sanity. He is 2, so his attention span in a hospital is about 30 mins on a good day! What hurt though was they only time I asked anyone else for help it wasn't given. This one person I constantly help when ever it was needed could not go out of their way for me. It hurt. My husband feels that I am constantly taken advantage of by many people because I am the first one to help with anything. I thrive off of helping people. I love seeing a smile on a persons face and a thank you is great. There are times though when I need help to and I can not get it but then other people are constantly handed things. Would I quit helping people? Nope. I will always take the higher road and be the bigger person but it still doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. 

Second: I am a designer with Origami Owl. I started to do this as a hobby and now I see when I want to go with it. I like to do Fundraisers for people and I want to give a locket a month to a deserving person. For the first 2 months I personally picked. They are both girls who are being treated with cancer. I am also involved with a fundraiser for one of them and gave away a $40 gift card for the other. So I decided that it would be great to do a give-a-way a month on my facebook page to where anyone could nominate a person for a locket the only thing was they could not nominate themselves. Out of the almost 200 people that saw this post do you know how many submissions I received? Zero! If I saw that post I could have nominated 2 people right off the bat! I do not understand it. Also the fundraiser I am doing I have not sold anything and I am giving 100% of my commission to her family and even have a site just for donations. When I see a post for someone wanting money for anything or are doing a fundraiser 9 out of 10 times I help. No one ever helps with what I am doing but yet I can do a fundraiser for a sport and raise over $100 and it is so frustrating! I just do not get it! 

Ok stepping off of my soap box now. Please give me a second I am only 5 feet tall so it is a long way down!

Tomorrow we are back on track not only as having my husband back but it is also to eating healthy and having a better family structure. Enjoy the rest of your weekend and see you tomorrow!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

 
 

Waiting on a Man

So here I am waiting on my husband still to get done with his surgery. It is 5 and he went back at 12. Let's just say that I have extreme anxiety and panick attacks and this does not help at all. But the nurses are awesome and keep me updated as much as they can so I shall sit here and wait and blog. Heck what else is there to do???

With Day 5 I can once again relate to the message. Today it is Desperation breeds defeat. I have done that so many times in my life. My favorite part of the reading was this

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

I am always tempted by food and I can always seem to find a way to justify a reason to eat it so i won't feel so bad. Well I don't feel bad emotionally but physically I end up feeling like crap! But I see a change. Normally during this time with John in the hospital I would be finding food to stuff in my mouth just to feel better! Have I been perfect? Nope. But I have been better.

I am not eating out all 3 meals. Today I stopped at Chick Fil A and got a chicken sandwich. Before this I would have gotten a #1 Large with a sweet tea and pour on the mayo. Not this time. Could I have made a better choice? Ofcourse I could! I get that. But if it was that easy to reprogram yourself I would be a size 5 by now! You have to take the small steps sometimes and be happy with that and for once I am.

Tomorrow John should be coming home and him coming home is a new fresh start for the both of us. I have been trying to lose this weight since 2008 and I got even heavier once I had our son in 2010. There was a time though when i was healthy, loved the gym, ate well, and had a personal trainer. So I know the do's and don'ts I have just choosen not to use them.  So first thing will be a pantry raid! All the processed crap needs to go! 2nd is to bury the fryer! Yea I have a fryer in my house, My dad brought it when he moved in with us and I have hated it and since he leaves for Alabama tomorrow it is gone!

Before all of this though I am ready for some "me" time. So tonight I am going to color my hair and I bought some new makeup and a new outfit for tomorrow and I am going to take pride in myself again.

Hey he is finally out and now wants to eat! That is my hubby so take out it is but fried food it won't!

xoxoxo,
Kelly

Me and God...circa 1999

I was looking through all of my old Myspace blogs because that is where I started blogging and I wanted to share this particular one. It was a freeing moment in my life because I had let out so much in just a few paragraphs. I wrote it Aug. 22 1999...

I know...I know. Who though this would be a journal entry for me, right?I am going to start by saying this is extremely hard for me to write but I need to, I have to get this out. I may even surprise some of you...
I have had my best friend telling me for the past couple years that I need God in my life. I have always messed with him saying I am not drinking the Kool-aid and that he is just hiding behind the couch. Or sure I will go but I am bringing the rosary and making the sign of the cross (note: he is southern baptist and I was brought up catholic). So as most people know I am not very religious. What others have no idea about is that I use to be, I was tested at a very early age though and I lost my faith. I use to love to go to church with my friends but it all just changed in a minute.

When I was in middle school and was about 14 years old I had the best friend in the world. No one could come between us. She was a sister to me and a daughter to my parents. She didn't have the best life and we knew that but never fully understood until one night. She called me and told me she couldn't take it anymore and was going to kill herself. She had said it before and hey we were teenagers and could be a little dramatic. I told her I would call her later and I never did because I was watching a movie. A couple hours later her cousin came to my house to tell me my best friend was gone. That was the exact moment I lost any faith I had. Why wasn't there something to click in my head to call her back or say something to someone this time? Why did she have to go? She was too you...there was way more time for her here. We were going to go to college together and raise our kids together. Why would God take her from us? Why not just let her have a wake up call?  I asked myself those questions for the past 16 years and sometimes I still do. The guilt and blame I put on myself I have come to terms with a couple years ago.

After all that happened I refused to even go into a church. I didn't agree with any of it. It didn't matter. Then one day I went with my friend Jennifer to a southern baptist church (ok Charlie pick your jaw up off the floor please) and a feeling came over me that I can't explain. It scared me. I became so emotional I didn't know what to do. So I went and I calmed down. The min I went back into that church it all hit me again. As we all know I am not much of a crier but that is all I could do. Just thinking about it makes me remember those feelings.

Since then I have still questioned my faith giving people a hard time that tried to push it on me. Making jokes to friends to try and get them to leave it alone. I made sure the kids went though until Dakota's grandmother passed away. Even then they went to school at the church until they lost their grant. I have never wanted my children to go on the same path I ended up on. We all have our ups and downs but by the age of 18 if anyone would have seen they would have looked and saw a broken young lady with a very bad alcohol problem. I didn't need AA though to quit drinking like I use to cause we all know I do still drink. It took Dakota coming into my life to begin to show me the way. I do believe that she was sent to me to save my life and she did. She to this day is my angel and she has a part of my best friend with her always...her middle name. If you ever meet this girl although she is 10 now and is a pistol to say the least there is just something there that stays with you.

Now that I look back I truly see how much God has been there for me and I ignored him completely. But he still kept me on the right path (for the most part lol). If there is one thing I can say he has given me it is an amazing strength to get through some crazy situations. Everyone has drama and mine is few and far between but it seems like when it rains it pours on me. These past couple weeks have been no exception. I felt my world crumbling again. Knowing that I was going to have to move, the kids going back to school, etc I felt my world falling apart again. Then the one thing that I never expected to happen did (I'm leaving it at that) and I lost it. Knowing that it all works out in the end and I am strong and stubborn and would figure it all out I still let it get to me and affect others around me and it wasn't fair to any of us. There was a part of me saying calm down it is going to be ok but I didn't feel that way yet so as always I ignored it.

In these past two weeks I think I have prayed more then I ever had. Giving up my control and looking for answers. Seeing if for once what others have said and reading some peoples genesis if it was true if giving it all up and just asking God to come into my life again (Charlie I am really saying this) would help. I can say it has. Everything has been coming together and life has been a little better. I know that there are truly some things I have no control over. I also know that we will all be ok. One question has yet to be answered but it will shortly and it is worth it to wait. Patience is something I have never had but some people are just worth it.

What I can say is I have come to terms with what is given to me to deal with. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that people come into your life for certain reasons. Some people stay and others are here for what they need to help you thru and then they go leaving you with something. Others are in and out and those people I know exactly why they are here. Then some people come into your life and you know and pray that they aren't the ones who leave. Let me tell you I have been doing a lot pf praying for that right about now.

I am not sure what is in store for myself and my family. But this is what I do know...

I have let God back into my heart and life but I am not ready to face going into a church. There is still a lot of emotion there I am trying to come to terms with. You still have your wish of me going on Christmas eve (cause that's when the sinin family goes lol) and maybe before just not quite yet.

I also know everyone has a purpose and I still don't know 100% what mine is but I do know that I was put here to be a mother and to take care of people. That I feel is why I do the things that I do for people. But I also feel I was given this strength and have not used it the way I should. I need to stand up for myself more and there are things I need to do. It is for the good of my children and that is all that matters.

I lost my way for a long time and it took people who care about me to show me the way a little. Then the rest was up to me and still is...

A Little Rambling Never Felt so Good!

Day 4: Are cravings chasing you?
My favorite part from what I read was this...

I believe God made us to crave. Now, before you think this is some sort of cruel joke by God, let me assure you that the object of our craving was never supposed to be food, sex, money, or chasing after significance.

Well now here is the hard part. At one time all the things I craved were the things I was never suppose to crave! I wanted it all! And the more I wanted the less I became. To be honest there was a time in my life I truly didn't know who I had become. I would chalk it up to "living life." Now that I look back I was drowning! 

I do not feel I ever craved everything at once. It was more like I would go from one to the next. When one would get old I would go to another. At the end of the day the one I loved the most was food. It was a craving that was comfort, love, forgiveness all wrapped up in to one. Or so I thought. Food was my way to keep emotions in and a happy exterior for the world to see. 

Now that I see I need to get back on track I have to learn how to say no. The craving became an addiction. I am stronger than this addiction and now that I had a heart to heart with my hubby for once I know this is something that can controlled.

I feel that I am rambling tonight and maybe even repeating myself. I hope to get back to a more normal life by the weekend when my husband comes home. I have never felt more lost. Actually I take that back. Today I took Cole to my moms and had planned on having him stay the night with her and not having him or his dad with me I just wanted to cry and felt like I couldn't function.   

If there is one thing in life I have a need to do it is take care of people. If I do not have someone who needs me I do not feel whole. I am even feeding off of my husband being in the hospital. I am making him broths so he has something other than yucky hospital food and constantly needs me to help him out right now. Cole is 2 and still needs me to do things for him. Although I will be happy when he is potty trained and no longer needs help with the diapers, that is one thing I can let go of. With both of them gone no one needed me! My other 2 children even though I wanted to do everything for them when they were younger are very independent and don't ask for much help.

Needless to say I brought him home but he will stay tomorrow night because the surgery will be over, he will be coming home on Saturday, and for the 1st time in a week I will be able to breathe and I will have some me time. I am going to go buy a new dress, wash the grey out of my hair, and maybe even buy some new make up. Then I am going to write a blog about God and my relationship with him. I think it is the perfect timing. I feel this because the day I bring my husband home from the hospital is the same day we push re-start on our lives. I feel so much lighter already and I haven't lost a pound!

xoxoxo,

Kelly