The Evil Dressing Room!

After last night I no longer want to see a bathing suit. I was having such a good night. We went to dinner, had a little break from the kids, and went to the store to get ready for our trip to the beach this weekend. Since I had the baby I know that I couldn't even come close to wearing my swim suit that I could wear before. So I figured that I would just go grab a suit that would cover a little bit more. I have lost 15lbs so I should be ok, right?

So I found some tops and bottoms in 1 size bigger and went to the dressing room. 1st I put the bottoms on and although I didn't feel they were the most flattering I knew I could deal with it. So now on to the tops. Yes we all know that I am pretty blessed in the boobie department. Ok, very blessed! So I knew I would need a big size. So I grabbed an XL with no hesitation and went to put it on. Over the head it went and I was thinking in my mind, this is a little tight but it is all twisted in the back. So as I try to plead with it to go down I saw myself in the mirror. I saw a fat girl in a little suit. Problem was the suit wasn't little it was an XL. I felt my heat drop and the tears just trying to flood out. To add insult to injury there was a girl in the dressing room right next to mine trying on the bathing suit I could not have even put one leg into. 

I then put my big girl panties on and shrugged it off. I knew that I might not find a swim suit because in general swim suit shopping can be any womans nightmare. I had a back up plan. I saw the cutest sundress and I thought I could just wear that since I would just be going in up to my ankles with Cole (here's a fun fact about me I am terrified of the water and can't swim). To I put this black and pink sundress on only to stand in front of that dressing room mirror and saw someone who was pregnant 7 months ago still looking pregnant. I could hear the people now, "When are you due?" Like I heard at the store a week ago. I figure I only have 5 months left to simply say that I just had a baby. 


I simply got dressed, handed everything to the sales lady, and walked out empty handed. The whole way home the truck was silent. As much as he told me I was perfect the way I am it was still taking everything in my being not to cry. I came home and dyed my hair to make me feel better and went to bed.


So now I have to ask myself where do I go now? Will I look for another bathing suit? Oh hell no, not this season! Will I go back and get the dress? I actually might it was really comfy and I can't say I care about what many people say. Do I need to get back on track? More than ever. I just have to figure out when I can exercise. There really isn't time right now for anyone to watch Cole for me so I'm stuck. I try to go out and run with him but it doesn't last long and it's really hot for him. Do I buy another exercise game? Will I actually use it? I have good intentions but I give up. I will get back on the 17 day diet I do know that even if it makes everyone miserable lol. 


And my last question to myself is do I need to blog more? YES!


xoxoxo,
Kelly