I'm still here

I wish that I could write every night but it is almost impossible. I need an outlet and yet trying to find the time is hard. I have come to terms with so many things and now I just need to figure out how to start over.

As I stated in my last post I had gone to the Dr. and they did a bunch of tests and I am lucky to report that I am healthy as can be! I do still need blood pressure medicine and since I have been on it my bp has been excellent! My b12 was low so I got a shot for that and then I will have another one in Sept. He told me to take a multi-vitamin and also fish oil. I was at the beginning but the multi-vitamin was making me sick. So I need to find another one. The fish oil I am still taking. 

I am also going to the gym. Not as much as I should but it evens out to about every other day for 30 mins. I know it is not enough to lose weight because the scale hasn't moved but the exercise combined with the pills has made me feel so much better! I have so much more energy and I feel better. Now I just need the scale to move!

On Sept. 8th I am going to the Dr. and I am suppose to be 10lbs lighter and I don't see it happening. I have changed some of my eating habits but not all. I am going to the gym but not as I should. I guess you could say that I am doing it all half ass and so I am getting half ass results. But there is one thing I have finally come to terms with and I may have said it on a blog before but the light did come on...

I AM AN ADDICT! I AM ADDICTED TO FOOD! I AM AN ADDICT AND I REALIZE IT NOW!

Wow that felt good! It is true. I can not believe that I became addicted to food. I have been trying to cut down on the fast food and I turn into a complete bitch! I want that food! It is so good and it makes me feel good! I am ready to go get breakfast, then lunch, and opps I forgot to pull something out for dinner so let me go run and get something! Wow...I have been down this road before. But back then it was the alcohol. Most people would never know that I had a problem either. I can't tell you how many times I ended up with alcohol posioning, not remembering the night, and even cracking a beer open as soon as I woke up. Did I beat that? Yup sure did. I became pregnant with my daughter and I never looked back. I still have a drink from time to time but I don't miss it at all. The question for me now is what will kick my butt into realizing that I don't need to food? 

I am going to try to write like I use to I miss it so much. It was my outlet. And I know people enjoyed hearing about how crazy my life could get and I like letting people see that I am an open book and what you see is what you get. I am just brave enough to put it out there...