Well one of my favorite shows Ruby is back on and I am so glad because that was the longest pause in between seasons. For anyone who hasn't seen this show it is about a woman who was oer 700 lbs and is not down to 336 lbs. It is about her weight loss journey. It is on the Style network if you want to look her up. On her season premier she and her ex Denny went to a counselor and it hit the fan. She found out that their relationship was just toxic. That his love was unconditional and even though they had broken up over 9 years ago she was still dealing with issues from that relationship. As they are showing this part of the show it made me flash back to my own toxic relationship that was just like hers.
Have you ever had a toxic relationship? Oh I have and to be honest I didn't figure it out till about 2 years ago. I was with someone when I was in high school that I was head over heels with. he cheated on any girl he had been with but me (and yes that is the truth...well at that time anyway). In the end it didn't work out but we remained friends with the occasional hook up. And then when he would come back around he would really be toxic which I see now. He would tell me what I wanted to hear to get what he wanted and then when he would find someone new he would just leave me heart broken again. I thought that we were soul mates he had even told me that we were at one time and that we were so alike it would never work. Dang, was I stupid to even believe that.
The final straw was about 2 years ago. We were living together and things were great. We would say that we weren't in a relationship but if you saw us you would think otherwise. I was falling for him all over again. And everyone in my family was telling me to watch out but I wasn't going to listen. I knew that if it was going to happen this was it because it was finally the right time. On the same note I said that if he hurt me again I would be done. Then it happened all of a sudden he started talking to an old friend and less to me. He started staying over there. Then we dicided to go out of town for the day. I thought we were back on track and I paid for everything, hung out with friends, and then on the way home he told me he was going back to her. Instead of just telling me he was going to move in with her the day before he waited till after I took him out. For the first time he treated me like he had treated so many other girls. Granted, Karma just kicked my butt. Since then I have continued to see him as a friend but I could never even think of him as anything else and never will. I hope he is happy and they last. Other than that I will keep my comments to myself but I just see history repeating.
At the end of Ruby's story she also had Denny leave. It gives you a sence of empowerment to know that they don't have that hold over you anymore.
As for today it was a pretty rough day. I'm not feeling to good. I will weigh myself tomorrow and write everthing down. As for tonight I'm going to bed.
xoxoxo,
Kelly
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